What is your love language?

As we near Valentine's Day, I invite you to reflect on your relationships, especially your relationship with your spouse:

• How do you communicate love to your spouse?
• What is his/her primary love language?
• What is yours?

Dr. Gary Capman speaks about five love/relational languages (they are lised below). You can find out more at www.fivelovelanguages.com. I invite you consider these as you reflect on your relationships this week. I encourage you to explore these love languages with your spouse. Determine together what love language most touches your heart, and commit to express love in this way throughout this year.

One: Receiving Gifts

Definition: Presents and physical tokens of affection move you. It's the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.

Are these true of you?

1. I tend to give others things to express my feelings about them.
2. I feel so good when I receive a present from someone… or even just get a freebie.
3. I can feel quite depressed when I don’t get a gift, especially when I expected one.
4. I would rather get a reward than extravagant applause.

Two: Quality Time

Definition: This can be expressed either through those intimate discussions or via doing things together.

Are these true of you?

1. I get lonely and begin to feel uncared about if I can’t hang out with someone I love.
2. I feel complete when I spend time with people I love.
3. I show people I care by being with them.
4. I expect others who care about me to spend their time with me.

Three: Acts of Service

Definition: You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.

Are these true of you?

1. I often feel special, significant, and useful when I help others.
2. I often feel upset when others don’t help me out, much less offer to do anything.
3. I show affection by doing things for other people.
4. I don’t usually ask for help, but when someone does something for me, I feel really cherished.

Four: Physical Touch

Definition: You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not center on sex.

Are these true of you?

1. I give and expect in return hugs, pats, kisses, and other physical signs of affection.
2. I feel especially warm and appreciated when another touches me in a meaningful way.
3. I can feel awful about myself when people I love don’t touch me.
4. I like to show my feelings physically.

Five: Words of Affirmation

Definition: You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why.

Are these true of you?

1. I find that another’s criticism really, really hurts.
2. I tell those whom I love that I love them. That’s sufficient for me.
3. I feel like I need compliments, so sometimes I “fish” for them.
4. I feel like “a million bucks” when I get sincere praise.

As you draw closer to each other, may your love grow and may you realize it is but a sliver of God's love towards you.